The leaves turn yellow,
Hinting at change
As the air turns into hot chocolate days
I embrace this first day of fall.
As we leave work, most of us are stuck with our cities very own version of traffic. From the bumper to bumper, horns honking traffic of Los Angeles, to the dead stop and go, dead stop and go traffic of New York, then you have Sacramento. The drivers here may hail from elsewhere and conveniently locate on these streets, yet the driving style and standards are the same: HAVE NONE! Now before I continue this rant I must point out that I was born and raised here, in Sacramento and I am over the lack of driving standards here. Now I am mainly referring to those of you, the majority of drivers in Sacramento, that refuse to use their blinker! That’s right you no-blink assholes, I am talking to you…
Now some of you are thinking, is she really upset by people not using their blinkers? The answer is yes, and since you’ve read this far allow me a moment to explain.
Not using your blinker isn’t just unsafe to other drivers who base (or should be) their speed and direction on the other drivers, it shows a bit of your character. Now not using your blinker can cause accidents mainly on the freeway and in the heat of traffic but it also shows who you are as a person outside of driving. Now most of you are thinking I am absurd, but listen Linda, by you not using your blinker to alert drivers of your intent to change direction shows how highly you view yourself over others. You are probably not just a selfish driver whose destination is obviously more important than everyone else, since everyone else doesn’t need to be somewhere as you do, you are probably selfish outside of the car as well. You’re the person who eats half a sandwich and having not touched the other throws it in the trash without thinking that perhaps someone you know or even someone homeless could be hungry. No, you’re full and do not want to be bothered carrying your leftovers… instead you drive like you need blinker fluid…
So to you, no-blink humans, MAY ALL YOUR BACON BURN!!!
This poem was written for a good friend. He is strong and he will succeed at everything he does. One say he will feel the dry sand on the beach…
The water has never gone beneath my knees,
forever crashing against me
rising… then falling
begging me to fall
but still begging me to rise
giving me hope at low tide
only to make me question everything at high tide.
I swim to the day I can walk on the beach…
Hey boy there’s galaxies in your eyes,
Your soul has this light boy,
it makes the stars in your eyes shine bright,
So stand tall.
Your hands can build foundations man,
where people will flock for warmth,
Your mouth can breath words man,
And the people will listen,
Because I am listening…
NOTE: This is one of those poems that mean a lot to me. I didn’t write this poem thinking of myself. I wrote this poem for someone who would eventually become one of my best friends. He inspires me daily with his wisdom and thoughts. And he doesn’t know how much I write since meeting him. He has galaxies in his eyes and his path is a dusty one. Those are the people I keep in my inner circle. The people who inspire me and push me to be better than I already am. This poem is to you, my friend, my best friend, The Dusty Foot Philosopher; the Dark Night in the Bright Soul. May your path be lit with the fireflies of your past, leading you forward so you never have to take a step back.
The path ahead is clouded with doubt
It makes you silent when you want to scream and shout.
The path ahead is blurred by fear,
Of failing your goals and losing those near.
The path ahead is blocked by shame,
and you can’t go back, nothings the same.
The path ahead is shrouded by guilt,
of losing the hand that you were dealt.
But the path ahead contains a light,
that you can reach when the time is right.
So keep your goals ahead of you,
And NEVER let anyone tell you what to do.
For you are strong when your mind is clear,
and you walk your path without any fear.
Your drive and ambition inspire those that are close,
and they will be there for you when you need them the most.
Times are touch, this I know,
But you’ll come out on top and it will show,
See, the path ahead is blocked by you,
and only you know what you need to do.
So walk your path with your head held high,
Never stop and waver; never ask why.
Just move forward with your goals in sight,
Because now is the time you begin to greet your light.
Shhh, don’t tell anyone
let’s keep this between us and the stars.
As the wind blows over the imprints of our bodies in the grass,
Taking with it the secret of our past,
Only to place it somewhere in the future,
When we meet again under the same starry sky.
a punctuation mark (;) indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than that indicated by a comma.
So recently Netflix gave the world their new series, “13 Reasons Why”, a show centered around a young high school students suicide. Now I am no critic, so I am not here to discuss the show in that sense or provide any spoilers. But the the show is centered around a young girl, who before committing suicide makes 13 tapes to send to the people who aided in her reasons why she did it. Now this show is difficult for anyone, but if you have ever had someone close to you commit suicide this show is even harder to watch. I
April 10, 2006…
A Monday. I had this best friend/brother who I was always with. This past weekend was different. I had not seen Patrick for over a week. He was depressed and didn’t want to hang out. I was worried but not enough. I just thought he and the on again off again relationship he was in with chick (I will not address her ever in life with btw). So I stayed away. I didn’t know he was really going through it. I had no idea he wanted to end it all in a permanent way. When I got home from school his mom called me asking me to come over with the key to his room. We were that close, I had the key to his room, he had the password to my Myspace.
His mom was worried after coming home from a weekend business trip and having not seen Patrick yet. So I went over to unlock his door. There was music playing softly, a song that we later found was on repeat. His computer was playing, “Adam’s Song” By Blink-182. We saw him there instantly. He looked sad and lost. He was not at peace. His eyes were open and he looked scared. But he was not there anymore. He was gone. He had taken his own life. I lost my best friend that day. I lost the one person I was close with on a plane that did not exist in reality.
Ultimately I hated him and I blamed myself. I hated that he couldn’t reach out to me. He wrote me a short letter. That’s all I got. A short letter. No real reasons why. Just a good-bye. I always wanted to know why. Deep down, why? Not the superficial reason he wrote about in his diaries he conveniently left out for us to read. I wanted his core reason, deep down. Why he would leave me in this world to fight it alone. He was my PIC (Partner In Crime).
Now jump to the week of April 10, 2017…
I hadn’t realized how much Patrick’s death affected me still. As I sat through the 13 episodes of “13 Reasons Why”, I began to see his face in the main character, Hannah. I began to see his reasons why. And even though I was broken by his death he was broken to his death. I went through guilt this past week and a half. Struggling with the hatred I held for him for so long. The respect I let myself lose for him. When what he did was selfish, I sat there being selfish as well. Now I do not blame myself, but I do send caution to those in these situations. For a week my best friend attempted in his way to reach out to me, but I wasn’t there. I will not go into what-ifs or regret, but if I had heard him louder I could have been there.
Since then I have had friends who have lost it and have secluded themselves into their homes for weeks. And I have went out of my way to be there for them. Patrick, you taught me a valuable lesson: to listen. I listen now to everyone and everything. I overcompensate sometimes and am over bearing. But I will never not hear someone needing my help ever again. I will never have too many things going on in my life to where I cannot be there.
This show is graphic in the end and some critics are urging caution when watching the show. I urge you to watch this show. Everyone. This series shows us the realities of suicide. How it can affect a whole community. How when we think we have so much noise in our lives, when there is someone with no noise in theirs. And what’s worse, all the noise and chaos? Or no noise, solitude with no one there to sit with you in the silence?
4/10/2006. You live on through me;
My Patrick Star, I will always be your Spongebob.
Her body moves gracefully through the night air,
The moon illuminating every curve of her body,
His eyes are stuck on her…
Her hands always motioning for him to move closer,
to embrace her soul as she dances it away,
Anticipation burns in both
but neither make the move…
She dances for him…
His eyes are for her…
This moment is for them…